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Building a Family

by Lindsay Fendt
Carissa Breeding says the pledge of allegiance at Morningside Elementary School's daily morning meeting. Carissa was adopted from China as an infant.

On Sept. 11, 2001 Carla Breeding watched the World Trade Center towers in New York crumble with one thought continuously running through her mind, “I am going to die before I get to be a mom.”

That morning, before the news from New York burned across television screens, Carla had excitedly put the first part of an international adoption application in the mail. She knew that the tragedy would make the already long and grueling process of adopting a child from abroad that much longer and more difficult. And so it was. That year China restricted the number of single parents who could adopt to five percent for each agency. Carla was chosen, and was all set to go to China to pick up her daughter, when SARS broke out, delaying air traffic to Asia indefinitely.

“I kept imagining horrible things happening that would prevent this from happening,” Carla said.

All of these fears were washed away in 2002 when Carla first held her daughter, Carissa, in a hotel room in Changsha, where she and other adoptive parents went in a group to pick up their children.

“I knew immediately which one Carissa was,” Carla said. Back in their hotel room, the new mother, “just laid there and watched her sleep for hours,” she remembers.

Soon after she brought Carissa home to Elizabethtown, Carla knew she wanted another daughter. She applied again for adoption, and in 2005 made her way to China again — with Carissa in tow this time — to meet her second daughter, Caroline.

“Getting Carissa was about me becoming a mom and fulfilling my dream,” Carla said. ”Getting Caroline was about completing our family. There was just something telling me we weren’t done yet.”

Carla Breeding picks up her daughter Caroline Breeding during a pre-school service at their church, where Carla regularly helps out.
Caroline and Carissa Breeding snack on McDonald's in their grandmother's car on the way home from school.
Carla and Caroline Breeding look through an array of snacks in a Big Lots aisle. Caroline has an allergy to corn and corn syrup, which prevents her from eating most snack foods. The quest for a corn-free chip is a constant struggle in the Breeding home.
Carissa Breeding chalks up the driveway after school. She and her sister, Caroline, play outside on nice days after their grandmother picks them up from school.
Carla Breeding becomes a human jungle gym for her two daughters once she gets home from work. While none of the three are biologically related, they have found a home and become a family in Kentucky. "We've known for a long time that family isn't about who has your blood," Carla said. "It's about love."
Caroline Breeding takes her daily after-school nap on an armchair in her grandmother's living room.
Carla Breeding takes a seat out in the yard while her two daughters play. As a single working mom, Carla spends most of her would-be free time with her girls. "My worst day as a mom is 10 million times better than any from before I was a mom," she said.
Carla Breeding makes phone calls at the Hardin County Department of Education, where she recently took a job in the human resources department. The job brought her back to Elizabethtown, where she and her daughters live with her mother.