Family is important to Grace Deaton. Family is the reason she didn’t finish high school; family is why she went back. In 1993, at the age of 73, Grace finished her High School Equivalency diploma, but she didn’t stop. Grace and her younger sister, Hazel, went to Hazard Community and Technical College, finishing three associates degrees by 2005. At the ages of 85 and 84, Grace and Hazel walked across the graduation platform to receive their diplomas.
As the eldest of six in Hazard County, Kentucky, Grace had to quit school to help raise her brothers and sisters so her mother could work to support the family when their father walked out. Then 20 years ago, Hazel lost her husband and son; Grace lost her daughter. Instead of being consumed by their grief, together they decided to be productive. What’s more productive than college?
This is a story about growing old without losing your joy and positivity despite a life full of tragedies. “That’s called life,” says Joe-Kelley, Grace’s son. Grace twists the features of her face, then laughs.
Her sister Hazel developed cancer and moved in with her son in Alabama, unable to finish her studies. Grace could not continue alone. “I wish I could have finished the four year degree. I tried, but I just couldn’t do it without her. It would have been good to finish,” she said.
Grace never wanted to leave Hazard, her home, her church, her friends. But then she fell, and it scared her. Her son, who lived four hours away, decided Grace should no longer live by herself. They chose Allegro Assisted Living and Memory Care in Elizabethtown as Grace’s new home.
“Selling my house [in Hazard County, KY], watching them take the furniture, and watching my Chevy leave the driveway was the hardest day of my life,” she said. “It was terrible.”
Grace remembers leaving her home of 55 years in Hazard. She reflects on her time at Allegro, saying “I like it here. I don’t love it, but I like it.”
She has since adjusted and made new friends. “If I had stayed in Hazard, I would be dead,” she relents now. She could not do it without the support of family, the dedication of her son, who comes to see her almost every day. Unlike other residents in the Memory Care ward that are secured on the first floor of the center, Grace has free access to the rest of the building. She goes upstairs on bingo nights. She eats dinner with her friends. She knows the number code to unlock the ward’s barrier door and has the process of opening the door from the outside down pat: press the release button with her back, pull open the door, grab her walker and slowly back through the door into the ward. The able bodied perform this simple task without a second thought, but for Grace, although surprisingly nimble at 90 years of age, it takes full concentration on each detail.
“I don’t need to be in [the Alzheimer’s center], but I like being here so I can help the ones that are worse off than I am,” she said. One day, Grace finds a woman wondering the hallway, seemingly lost. “Well I’m ready. Ready to go upstairs. Heaven is ready.” Grace looks at her sternly. “Don’t say that. Don’t talk like that. We’re doing just fine here.” Grace invites the woman to play bingo with her that night in an effort to engage her and keep her active.
“You have to be positive.”
